Memories of Summer Vacation

Sometimes some things happen which bring you back in time, Remind you of time that you have once spent. Bring back memories and smiles on your face and then you realize that time has changed and things have changed too with it.

Like many other days, I called my Mom this morning. The phone was picked up by a little girl who used to live in my neighbor. To show unnecessary superiority I asked her what she is doing at home and why she didn’t go to School. She answered me in more Superior (Ignore Grammar here) tone that she need not to go school in Summer Vacations and she will also not go for next 1.5 months. “Summer Vacations” I heard this word after a long time. Perhaps most of the immortal memories of my childhood have been created during this period. May be it was playing ludo with the kids of neighborhood or learning how to ride bicycle. Pressing neighbors’ bell and running or spending time at Grandmom’s house. It was very special time of year where time seems stop and days are filled with no worries, fun and laughter all with a bunch of good friends.

I remember before the start of Vacation we had been given a long printed sheet which mentioned the homework that we need to do in next 2 months. Writing a page of dictation daily and making few charts were my favorite homework. But apart from this most of my homework remain unfinished and my brother used to do it in last 10 days of vacation. For those 10 days I used to behave as Laxman and obey all orders of my brother. The other good part of summer vacation was my Father was in bank so we used to go on an annual trip. I remember we have visited almost all part of India.

But Memories are more memorable if they are crazy. There were few crazy memories of that time that are still fresh in my mind. I remember we used to visit my Grandma’s house for at least two weeks which usually extends like the deadline of present day projects ;). My Grandma’s home was three storied building which had a shop on ground floor. At that time we had only landline phones and there used to come one telephone directory from Bharat Sanchar Nigam limited.  Me and My Mama’s (Uncle) son was of almost same age. We used to pick some funny name from that directory and then dial its number. We used to ask some crazy question like which movie was there in Jai Palace (Name of Theatre) or what the rate of Bhindi (Lady Finger) is. Most of the times person understand that some kids were speaking so they also gave some funny answer. But not every day is yours. We had extension phone as well that used to be in Ground floor (In shop). One day we had been caught red handed. My Mama picked up the phone in between we were making prank call. He came to third floor and asked me “So tell me which movie was there in Jai Palace”. The whole blame comes to me and I had been declared the master mind of that plan though I was not ;). After all a court had been called upon and the punishment came as I had to stand in form of chair for next 20 mins. In spite of all that, that was not the last time we did it. We did it again but in a more careful manner.

Time has changed since then. Life was easy then. Punishments were not tough and world was not that real. Memories of Cricket and Pakadam Pakdai are still fresh but I can’t relive those days. The best part of memories is we don’t know when we are creating them. My Last summer vacation was some 7-8 years back and since then started the race. The race of life where the only aim is to run even if you don’t know where you are going, keep on running because if you don’t you will lose. But if running is the only aim in only life? If in this race we are giving proper time to ourselves, our dreams and our memories?


Good Bye 2012 !

Unlike previous years, I’m writing this post a bit earlier. There are 15 more days remaining to say goodbye to year 2012, but If Mayans were right, then I’ll miss this post which I really do not want.

Finally the year 2012 is coming to an end. A Year that is different from previous years. A Year that brought me in touch with darkest of my emotions. A Year that made me realized of my greatest fears and strengths. A year that teaches me different aspects of Life. I feel the deepest of pain and witnessed the zenith of happiness in this year. Throughout the year I struggled to cope up with the changes that have taken place in my personal life. Though there are not much ups and downs from professional aspect. In the end of this year I realized that I’m far stronger than my problems and even stronger than my imagination. We never know how strong we are unless being strong is the only choice we have.

This year starts with a wonderful trip to Goa and going to end with a trip to Bangalore. Have reunions with old friend twice and got a chance to go home thrice. There were few dreams which translate into concrete achievements while others are near borderline. This year transformed a young angry man to man who knows how to control anger. This year bring me closer to my favorite hobby of photography and I visited almost every place within 200 Km diameter of Pune.

I’ll make few resolutions for the next year. I’m not sure how long they will last and I’m not even promising the same. But I’ll do my best to fulfill every resolution. The coming year I’ll try to be a good son and a good brother. The coming year I’ll try to update my blog every month. The coming year I’ll try to go for Photo walk every 15 days. The coming year I’ll try to make sketches every month. The coming year I’ll try to work more hard in my workplace. The coming year I’ll try not to drink tea more than once in a day.

Let not memories of mistakes and pain from Past made a remark on my future. Past is always a good place to learn but not to reside. There are always people, who’ll doubt me, but they themselves are enough, I’ll not waste my own time by burdening myself with foolish doubts about myself. And yes, the biggest resolution of mine for the coming year is to come alive. You and I are capable of creating miracles. Let’s create few!

Attachment and Detachment

If I have been asked, what’s the sole reason of our miseries, problems and troubles? Then attachment to things is most irrefutable answer. Though, its not the only reason but other reasons are directly or indirectly comes out from it. We human beings are attached to so many things in this world. Be it our friends, our job, our parents or our love. When it comes to people the one who is more closer to our heart, more we are attached to him/her.

If getting attach to something is a wrong thing? Mere attachment is not a wrong thing, but attachment often gives birth to clinging which later on becomes the reason of suffering and pain. The worst part is then detachment. We can control attachment up to an extent but detachment is never in our hand which then becomes the soul cause of difficulties in life. Anyhow, if we succeeded in getting detach to one thing then we shall get attach to some other thing. This phenomenon of attachment and detachment continues throughout our life.

Few days back, I read an article on TOI which was about the same topic. It took the example of balloon seller. A balloon seller inflates a few balloons, ties a thread around each one and wraps those threads around his fingers. When someone comes to buy a balloon, he removes one from one of his fingers and gives it away. Then he inflates another balloon and ties it to his finger again.

Our mind is like the balloon seller. Myriad different objects in the world entice us like balloons and our desires are like the threads that keep our mind attached to the objects. The moment one desired object is acquired, it gets detached from our mind. But our mind immediately inflates another one and promptly gets attached to it!

Now, when does the balloon seller stop this repeated activity of detaching and reattaching balloons to his fingers? Possibly, at the end of his workday when he thinks he must go home now. Then he disposes of his last balloon and does not inflate any more balloons. So, now he becomes detached from the balloons, but only temporarily. Again, the next morning, he is out to repeat the cycle of inflating, attaching and detaching balloons. The same thing happens in our life.

But the important question is why we get attached to things? The reason according to me is we human beings are more emotional when compared to other animals. Getting attached to something gives us a feeling of satisfaction and provides us a moral support and security. Even when we know the things with which we are getting attached today, we have to detach from it some other day. Then also we chose to get attached. There are two reasons behind it the first one and the prominent one is getting attach to something is not totally in our hand. Second one is we have to live in present. What will happen in future is unpredictable so to avoid getting attach to things with the fear of getting detach in future is not a good option.

Though the concept of attachment and detachment is important reason of unhappiness, troubles and problems its also the reason of happiness, joy and peace. Things are always balanced in the end. If there is no sadness then there is no happiness. The concept of detachment from the whole samsara is not a practical approach to live life in today’s era. Its better to live a life that has witnessed utmost of joys and deepest of pains, then to live a life which has not witnessed any worldly joy and happiness. Live life on simple concepts get attached to things but try not to cling them, attachment is because of love and when you love someone with conditions and expectations, your love is limited and will bring miseries in later stage. Love is not meant to bring miseries; it is meant to expand our life to infinite joy. Try your best to get attached with the things till  you can control, If one day you have to detach move on. So that one day when you are old and look back over your life, you must have something to smile.

Five Things I wanted to do AFTER I die

मौत देखी तो नहीं, पर होती बहुत हसीं है,
जिससे मिलती है वो जीना छोड़ देता है |

Many times in our life we beat death. Yesterday, I did the same. I was on my bike, my earplugs was keeping me aloof from outer world. That song of Kishore was reminding me of someone. The tiny droplets of rain on my specs were zooming everything that surrounds me. Everything was making sense, When I meet my death. It comes in the shape of a dog who instigate me to apply power brake and the crowd there watched a movie scene (Preferably the Tamil one). Yesterday, It was my day and stars were in my favor but I know one day death will come back and shall take its revenge. I don’t fear that day, I just wanted that by that time I’ve fulfilled every promise that I made with my near and dear ones. Generally, People plan things for Life since I consider myself a good planner. I have planned things beyond that. Who said we can do everything while living for few things we have to die and below are the things that I want to do after I die:

Met My Grandfather: An MBBS Doctor by Degree, A Family Business man by Destiny and A Philanthrop who spent his senility at Gods own place by choice. I last met him some
14 years back in Rishikesh. He was my First Guru. I stillremember how he used to wake me up at 5 AM for Ganga aarti of Rishikesh. He was also an author of one book on religion and he was the one who inspires me to write. Most of the wonderful things of my life I learnt from him. At that time I was too little to understand all that what he used to teach me. Didn’t get a chance to thank him. So, the first thing that I want to do after I die is to thank him for all the wonderful things he taught me and that made my life of some use.

To Fly Like Superman: Since childhood, I love Marco of the movie ‘Chamatkar’. How, he used to help SRK and how he fly from one place to another. Later on I become big fan of Superman. Every notebook of my childhood had that sticker on first page in which Superman is flying with his closed fist. The skits at my maternal place where I used to play the role of shaktimaan. After I die, I want to fly in real. Fly freely in air like superman, like Shaktimaan and wanted to see the world from those eyes which my eyes love to see.

To update God’s Software of Death: It really gives me pain when I read the news of people who die in some accident, some bomb blast, some natural and unnatural calamity and what’s more painful is the pain of people they left behind. What’s the fault of people who died in Mumbai bomb Blast? If its not his fault then its whose fault? The fault is in God’s Software. It needs an update and should work in the manner that the people who come early should die early. No exception and no relaxation. There should be a unique id allocated to a person when he gets born and when God wants someone to die the one who has the oldest id should die. When we talk of equality then it should also be of Life. Being a Software Engineer, It’s my duty to update the software that manages the record of Deaths.

Write My Last Blog Post: One thing that never leaves me alone. One thing who is there with me during my good and bad time. With whom I shared my griefs and sorrows is my blog. I don’t want to leave it in an unexpected way. Every essay has a conclusion. Every movie has an end. So, why not my blog has a last post. A post in which I can wrote what I learn in my life, What are things that I wanted to do but I didn’t able to do. How I’m feeling after death and to thank people whom I’m not able to thank while I was alive. That Post shall complete my blog. Things are painful when they are not ended properly and I don’t want my blog to be one.

Fight with ghost who is beating me since childhood: Though it looks a bit kiddish. But, it’s not. There is one face which looks like ghost who used to come in my dreams. I can’t remember since when but it used to come and make me scare. I want to fight with that ghost and make him realize that he is not only powerful and want to take revenge from him. I want to beat him in the same way he used to beat me in my dreams.

These are the five little things that I wanted to do after I die. People used to make their life memorable. I wanted to make death also memorable.

Once again Nostalgic !

There are times when you feel nostalgic. There can be many reasons for the same like looking back at old Photographs and thinking how stupid you look at that time or just talking with your friends whom you have not talked since ages. But the worst Nostalgia is one in which you don’t have any special reason. You just realize that you have grown up, your whole life flashes in front of your eyes. There were things that happened in your life that makes you feel happy or sad and a random thought comes in your mind that you are not going to live that time again. The thing that makes me feel sad or better said nostalgic is the fact that I’ve become a mere parasite of this Technology. I can’t imagine my life without a Mobile Phone, a Laptop, Internet or my Bike. Yesterday, there was a power cut in my building. Perhaps, it was the first power cut since I’ve been to Pune. It was 2:00 AM of night and the whole world turns into darkness, I was feeling helpless and suffocated. I was feeling warmth in the summer wind and my body perspired after ages. There was just one thought that was running in my mind, Am I become the mere Parasite of this Technology, and if yes, since 

Then flash a time before my eyelids, when we don’t have inverter or generator at home. Me and my brother used to study in lamp’s light. My Father used to fill kerosene oil in its body portion during day time. But, Alas! I can’t recall the last time I saw that instrument. I just remember when it was my Brother’s board exam and we brought emergency light at our home. We used to charge it during day time and when there was power cut in the evening, my mother used it sparingly.  Yes, the best thing that gives me immense pleasure and peace is me and my brother topped in our district studying in that Emergency light.  But, it’s after ages that I realized that there used to exist things like Emergency rod and Lamps in this world.

I still remember those summer night, when we used to play ‘chupam chupai’ when we had a power cut. We used to sleep at our terrace and gazing at stars give me immense pleasure. I used to play game of identifying shapes of different animals by connecting the stars with my brother. I never point in sky when I saw something bright supposing the fact that that bright thing was some ghost and if I point towards it he came to know that I watched him and he would kill me.  The stars are still the same and daily I see bright objects in sky. But neither I’m able to identify different shapes nor gazing at them gives me any pleasure. The best thing about those summer nights when there was power cut I start weeping and my Father woke up.  He used to fan over till the time sleep honored me from its presence. That was the most peaceful sleep.  I didn’t see that fan since ages. Nature has not changed, nor the stars, they are still at same place, brightening with same flash. The winds still blow with same speed. But why this difference then? Because, Its only me who has changed and I realized this fact when some wind from past brings that feeling to me.

Been Masochist – II

Perhaps it’s a long day for me. Its 8:00 Clock and I’m still in my office. Wondering, thinking and introspecting. There is feeling of losing something, something that even I don’t know. The corridor appears empty, my cubicle appears vacant, and all souls who used to work in day shift have left for their home. Standing on the 6th Floor and beholding the exquisite look of Infosys Campus is not giving me any inner peace and pleasure. The wind though blowing hard is unable to vaporize the tiny water drops of water on my face. There was a smell of strangeness and unfamiliarity in everything that I feel and is visible to me. There is just one question in my mind, what has gone so wrong that I’m feeling helpless and suffocated ? Why I’m feeling gloomy when everything that surrounds me making a perfectly perfect sense. The conclusion that I derived is some stupid trivial reasons for which I’m worried. The fact is the problem
resides in me so is its solution.

Before this very day, I assume that I’m the person who holds my destiny. My future is perfectly in my control and I can change the things in my life in the way I want. But Alas! I was wrong. There are always things in our life that we can’t change; no matter how much we want to change them.

Peeping over last 6 months, I found huge transformation in ME. Transformation from a disciplined to a Haphazard person. Transformation from a writer to a person who hasn’t updated his blog from past 5-6 months. Transformation from a person who had ambitions, desires, dreams and fantasies to the one who has not. As it seems I have narrow down my world. No LAN Gaming, No guitar, No Cricket, No Gyming and at worst no writing. These are the small activities which make my little world colorful. As It seems I have lost my originality. I remember when I used to introduce myself as a blooming writer, a passionate Age of Empires player and a desperate MBA aspirant everything gone. No dreams, no ambitions and no aspirations.

If one day someone asks me what’s the biggest dream of your life, then the simple answer is I don’t want to die like million others who surround me. I don’t want to get burn, I want to get bury and that too in the hearts of people. But Alas! What I’m doing. I need to re-waken myself and avoid getting distracted by temporary things that surrounds me. I know desires and dreams have no end and those who are reading this may consider me an emotional fool but whatever it is I just want the Phoenix to rise again from ash and rebuild itself. I don’t know how to end this post of mine on pessimism but I just wish one day I read this all and smile thinking one day I had written this piece of Paper, till then Goodbye.

Dussehra: Victory of good over bad..!

Things always exist in pair, If there is Love in this world then there is Hatred.  If there is Happiness there is Sadness, If there are friends there are enemies and if there is Good there is bad. When I was in class II or III, I used to write essay on Dussehra. There were 10 points which my Mom pronounces one by one and then I had to repeat them. Since then I get to know a lot about this festival, there is a long history in Indian mythology associated with this festival. But for me it had different importance. It was the day when I along with my Brother wore new clothes and went to market fare with
my Father. We both bought bow and arrow. Then there was battle of Ram and Ravana at our home, with my Brother asRam half of the time and I as Ram for remaining half. We used to stand on two chairs and wish that our arrows do head on head collision as we saw on serials but that was not possible. Since then time changes but that feeling still stays.

Dussehra teach us so many things, nothing in this world is truly bad or truly good. Their exists mixture of everything. Ravana who was considered a villain was in fact a devout disciple of lord Shiva, a great scholar, a capable ruler and a maestro of Veena. He had his apologists and stauch devotees within the Hindu tradition, some of whom believe that his description as a ten headed person is a reference to possessing a thorough knowledge over the 4 Vedas and 6 Upanishads which made him as powerful as 10 scholars. But the follower of Rama says that his 10 heads were nothing but symptoms of 10 bad habits. Dussehra teach us women is a thing to respect. If you can’t respect a women than no matter how much knowledge or wisdom you have one or another day you’ll lose. Dussehra teach us that the path of goodness is never easy, you have to face challenges, you have to toil a lot but in the end you’ll win.

When I was kid I love to watch Ramayana and since then I was a devotee of Ram and Hanuman. My Grandpa told me that Hanuman is the only God who still stays in this Kalyug and I the son of Science used to have a nonsense debate with him over this. As I considered Hanuman to be the same character as I saw him in TV serials but then as I grow up I realized that there are Philanthrop and there are misanthrop, Philanthrop fight for good and justice and they are hanuman. If we insist on believing a thing than there are 100 reasons for it and if now even then there are 100 reasons.

Dusshera tells us about the victory of Good over bad and insist us to be good in our life. To think for the betterment of Society and the nation in which we live in. To respect humanity and women and to  know that evil has to lose one day. May this Dusshera bring out goodness in life of my every friend.

Life is worth living.

How it feels when someone has stolen your dream, when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. It seems that we have lost some integral part of our life and the life without that dream is merely a dream !

Peeping back into my life and unfolding previous 18 chapters, I can recall my small dog of fur, that was my best friend. I firmly believe that he was the one who could truly understand my sentiments, my feelings, my language and at best my silence. I used to kick him and I used to hug him but in no case he show any objection. But every good thing has an end. One day, I returned from my school and found him dead, the fur that constitute him was flying in air and floor. I was paralyzed, as someone had snatched my life from me.  I threw away my bag start weeping and weeping and some more weeping. Had  fought with my Mom. Finally the matter close with deal that I would be provided a replica of previous dog. Since then things come in my life, they become integral part of my life, teach me something, hurt me, give me happiness and one fine sunny day leave me. Every time they leave me I found myself with the belief that I wouldn’t 
survive and that’s the end of my happiness. But every time time proved me wrong. I survived and that too very brilliantly.  The biggest irony of our life, we never have a idea of our hidden potential. We never know how much strong we are until being strong is the only option we left with.

Everything that took place in our life has its own importance and has its own reasons. At times we are not aware of the facts and reasons but we get them with time. The important thing is we should deal our bad time in the same way we deal good time. Do we really thank God when we are happy? How much of us know the real meaning of life? The fact is everyone we meet in our life is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something. If the thing is not specific to us, than why should we bother about it? The biggest truth of universe is “This time will pass away”, so why worry because of this time.

When we are hurt, when our heart breaks, we feel pain we feel anger and we feel regret, sometimes these emotions cross out their threshold value. But at that time we have to realize that there always exist persons on this universe who love us more than we do love ourlseves. Give yourselves indispensable time and the things will work out because its fact that in the end things will work out. Problems needs nothing just a change in the attitude of mind.

Lastly, the most important thing in life is to live a simple life. A life which rely on moral values and principles. A man of principles is always a happy man.

World is a better place to live in, If…

Shakespeare said that “All the world is a stage and all men and women merely players” but what if all the players start performing according to their own wish and change the plot of the play. Surely, the play will get flopped. Same things happen in real world. The God has provided us a beautiful role to serve on earth, provided a beautiful world to live in and has provided us everything that is necessary. But we the offspring of Darwin never liked it. In an attempt of perfecting the perfect we lead ourselves to nowhere. Surely, the world where we live is a better place to live in if few things doesn’t exist.

Religion: Religion is directly or indirectly associated with half of the blood that shed on this planet,. Religion never demands blood. Religion is for human good and other assumption, premise, inference or interpretation which denies this fact is far away from reality. If God really wants religion, He must have differentiated human beings in his creation. He should create few human beings with permanent long beard and name them as muslims. He should also create few human beings with a thin chotti running behind from their head and name them as Hindu. As God has not done
anything like this, Who are we to do it? 90% of love marriages break up because of this silly reason. If two people wanted to live together than what’s the problem?? Does anyone has the idea how religion evolved and what’s the first religion on this planet? First religion existed even before people were aware of God and that was based on fertility. People were focused on the worship of the great earth Goddess but since then the meaning of religion changes and Religion was largely response to human fear. It was meant to provide a sense of security while living in dangerous environment. Today, the meaning of religion has totally changed. It is the weapon used by political parties to win the election. It is a medicine used by terrorist to change the thinking ability of a student and turn him into a jihadi. The world is surely a better place when brotherhood and philanthropy is the only religion.

Boundaries: Its really painful when the Home in which we are living in is divided among our brothers and sisters, we are restricted from entering its one or another portion. Same is the case. In our daily prayers we murmur that all human beings are brother and sister, but if they really are ..? Nations are shedding blood for a small piece of land. Thousands of soldiers lost their lives for the protection of these boundaries. Isn’t the dream of utopia becomes reality when there exists only one nation and that too driven by brotherhood. The bad thing is world had been divided with boundaries and the worst thing is its still dividing. When God has not created any boundary then who are we to create one by using rusty iron wires. The fact is boundaries on land creates boundaries in heart, Surely the world is a better place to live in, if their doesn’t exist any boundary.

Politics: Of all the things that I hate most, I don’t hate anything more badly than politics. There doesn’t exist any place or field which succeeded in escaping from this bloody term. This is the thing which gives birth to Reservation and many other bloody systems  and which deprived many intelligent soul from getting what they deserve. Today your success not only depends upon your skills and talent but also on how good a political player you are. The politics of nation is more of the benefit for those who are running it rather than for whom they are running it. Surely, if there is no politics the world is a better place to live in.

Weapons: If it seems logical that we are spending a large portion of our economy for the blood shed, when many of us are dying of hunger and famine?? If not then why so much money is spend on weapons..? The only use of weapon is to shed blood. The weapons were invented by man during hunting age for fulfilling his food habits but after it, it is hardly use for this purpose. Surely, if there is no weapon on this planet than crime rate must be negligible, Because weapons are the strength of criminals and half of the crimes is done by the barrel of gun. A single bomb can make a nation a history. How can we kill human beings, If we don’t love them ? Weapons are never necessity and those who are saying it have some flaw in their thinking, The world is better place to live In if the only weapon is love and compassion.

Aankhon mein jiske Koi to khwaab hai..!!

I don’t know, why I’m in so much love with this song, The fact is I’m mesmerized every time I hear it.

Aankhon mein jiske
Koi to khwaab hai
Khush hai wohi jo
Thoda betaab hai
Zindagi mein koi aarzoo ke jiyein
Phir dekhiye……

Hothon pe jiske
Koi to geet hai
Wo haare bhi to
Uski hi jeet hai
Dil mein jo geet hai
Gun guna lee jiye
Phir dekhiye…..

Yaadon mein jiski kisi ka naam hai
Sapno ke jaisi uski har shaam hai
Koi to ho jis se apne dil dijiye
Phir dekhiye….

Khwaab buniye zara
Geet suniye zara
Phool chuniye zara
Phir dekhiye….