Everything has a cusp..!! Friendship is EveryTthing..!!
Till d day she became my friend
My orbit has got a changed
I believe dat Friendship is d best thing in world
All d relations r made in heaven but friendship..??
She is far away from me
But when we talked she is very close to me..
She is alwaz there to console to me.. to cheer me
She is there to say “Nothing happened..”
But I never imagine dat Friendship has a cusp..
If I know.. I never made her my friend
Everything has a conclusion
So has d Friendship..
The thing for which u cared most
Must betrayed u oneday.. So is she
Then comes d doomsday
She said she is goin..
She left me in d Boulevard of my broken dreams..
I wept for her from sunrise to sunset
I pray for her to return ..
But she is already gone..
Now it made me to think
Were we really friend.??
Or was it a lie..
She said she will b there till d end of my life
But then why she left me
Perhaps I misunderstood herMight b she don’t deserve me
But still I desrve her..
Now I’m completely empty..
I’m completely numb..
I want to cry..
I don’t know d reason .. still I want to cry
Perhaps she might hear me cry.
Or d star might sent my message
That I still consider her to be my friend
For me Friendship is immortal
On a silent night
I close my eyes
A silent sky, A silent tear and a silent wish
Dat u r here..!!!
What I have learnt in last 6 months ?
Yesterday I have been asked by one of my senior that what have I learnt in last 6 months? He said that you are a Btech student and in one of the most dominating branch but that does not simply mean that you know all and a real bond. What’s the thing that makes you superior than most other students of your class.
It was a new question for me and I was not prepared. I have never been asked any such type of question by anybody, at the first instant I was speechless but any how I managed it and gave him the best answer that I could think of, but truly and frankly speaking what I have told him in that atleast two things were really lies and without those two things my answer would not have made much sense. I don’t know why I spoke those two lies perhaps because of the fear of deformation of my image in his eyes or because of any sudden impulse but that does not mean that I do not learn anything but since I have been asked suddenly and never before I analyzed or think about it that’s why I have to give him an artificial answer but it’s after his exit that I thought about the fact what I’m and if I’m a good engineer? Speaking from my point of view I’m not ever totally satisfied by me, whether it’s my class 1st marks(99%)… or my class 10th percentage(90%) or it’s the percent of my Btech first sem(73%) the last one is more depressing and painful, not so bad those who know bout marking scheme ……but the case here is of my alone…
So the question remains, what I have learnt in these last 6 months, and that too without any lie ! The first thing is my love and that is for programming. I love programming and it had always been my dream to be the best programmer. I have a command over C++ and this year I’m in the organizing committee of “coder’s cult” .”the C++ programming contest” this is only thing which sometimes make feel proud and which creates in me a sense of not being a duffer. I can challenge there is no one in the whole first year who can defeat me in C++, there are logics behind it. I ‘m learning languages from class 8th and study core in class 11th and 12th . My CS teacher Mohammad Arsaalan was really a true genius who knew the things well enough, unlike my IT teacher who is one of the most confused souls. Although in it I’m not equally genius in all the topics it’s classes .. structures.. which r my strengths and pointers are a little bit annoying, from the beginning of sem, I am continually studying C++ and devoting a proper time to it because I know this is the only thing which really help me in my future prospective… I want to be the master of it…
Speaking from my heart I really don’t love the subjects of first yr. What is the need of studying Mechanical and Electrical for a computer science student and when I ask this question to higher authorities they simply said “ beta when u go in a company and there might be a possibility of….” What is this yaar… start teaching core subjects from the first year so that when we come after 4 year then we should be the master of at least our field otherwise we would be good for nothing what is this…??? Chal raha hai chalta jayega… okie… I’m not saying all these because my electrical has reduce my marks by 8% in 1st sem but this is the fact… we can not simply divide 24 hrs in such a way that we can study all mechanical, Electrical, HTML or C++ we have to choose what we have to study of course or real extra knowledge..
This time I’m heartedly learning web designing and have got a good command over HTML but not the master of it and lot more there in it which I’ve still to learn and then I’ve to study Java Script and I’ve set a target of next 15 days, these days I have a break and again because of all this schedule, I have decided not to go home and why I am still there when my minors end !
So I have to learn more I know I’m more ambitious than others, so at this moment I realize that I have learnt at-least so much in these last 6 months that nobody can question my learning and overall it’s knowledge that matter at the end. If you have knowledge then you can be distinguished easily from the peers and opportunities will knock at your door.
Let me write something !
Writing has always been always been a difficult task for me. I often start then simply write one page and that’s it. Either I don’t have anything more to write or just because i’m not any more interested into writing. But this time I really wish to write something, I don’t know why, whether its inspiration by my brother or there is some other reason . So like most of the other decent blogs, in this first post of my blog I wish to write something about myself and i.e. all true and factful. Whatever I am writing is directly from my heart. I need a companion who can console me and that I am looking for into my writings. Whenever I get sad, I simply read one of my writings and that give me a lot of consolation and peace I want other’s to know who really am.I .
If I have to write about myself in few words, I’ll simply say that I have an optically illusion-ed image. Those who know me well enough, they only know who I am, always cynosure of every gathering, both during my schooldays and college life. During my schooldays I was the real Bond, had been good in studies and always among top three-four of the class. I got the second rank in the district during high-school examination and that’s only because of the teacher who got the 50 rs note pasted into my didn’t betray me (kidding). I always had a very big friend circle and that too all the guys of my type, no studies during classes and our only motivation to sit in the class used to be not to allow the teacher to teach anything , We used to throw chalks and ask unnecessary questions. But these things never affected our studies. Since studies had always been our first preference and all of us used to be masters of our own topic, we all were considered good students and although being a bit devilish, all the teachers loved us.
During my school days, the teacher who inspired me most is Mr V.K. Shukla. He is the real teacher I respect him and he also love me very much. He guided me during my those early days when I was having no idea about my goods or bads, but sadly, I never realized this thing until the last day of school I made mistakes too often during those days but instead of taking any disciplianry action, he always told me the consequence of my mischievous deeds. I used to ask useless ,unnecessary, and foolish question in his class each, and each time his veins got tightened that’s just because of my mischief. I have never seen such a teacher, and that’s the sole reason that whenever I go to my school, he is the only one whom I search for. Although all other teachers also love me but its his love that matters most to me The second teacher who inspired me is my Maths teacher Mr. U.N. Singh, literally speaking I like him just because he always supported me in my everything. Whenever I committed a mistake then he was the only one who stood besides me…
The thing that I miss most in my life is my F-R-I-E-N-D-S, my school days friends. Its my lovely, devilish group that I miss most. Mayank, Prateek, Anurag, Ankur,Rahul, Gaurav, Iove them all. They all are of same nature. Mayank is my best friend, perhaps he is the only in the world with whom I share my personal views, he was the only one who followed me in kota and its him only who always used to score same marks as me in every exam and again its him only wo whom I look for an advice whether its correct or incorrect.. When the things come to knowledge, I guess that there is only one name who can beat me and that’s of Gargi Singh. She is presently at IITR, people say that she is at better place than me. and its again a general thinking but I differ. I am a man who always is satisfied with himself.. I know I am as good as her. She is there just because she scored five more marks than me. Had I got these marks, I would also have been there. I got 47 marks in Maths in JEE exam which is in no way a simple task and that too when the cut off marks are below 25. What to speak of my chemistry when I came back home after giving the exam, I simply told to my father that if I’ll clear cut off marks in Maths then I’ll be there at IIT and I got 81 marks in it and a total of 175, that deserve a rank of 2500 in the most reputed competition of the country, but here comes the fate, i never thought that I’ll not able to clear up the cutoff marks of my favorite subject, the subject because of which I was there in the top second batch of my coaching Class. I’ve studied that subject from the best teachers of India but despite of it I was not able to clear up the cut off marks.Had that been the story in Maths, I would have never felt regretted, but I simply got failed because of Physics and that’s the thing which shakes my mind. My heart gets filled with regret. Had there been one question more and I would have been at a better place but whatever is the case I treat it as God’s desire, In life there are certain cases where we don’t get what we really deserve. In a race it’s not necessary that its only the best player who will win it, it further depends upon the day and circumstances, and luck too. There are persons who don’t believe in luck at all and i was also one among them but before 9th April,2006. That day changed my life totally, and thats because of which I wish to forget my memories of KOTA. In my heart, I have all the records of each and everyday, my friends Ankit Garg ,Naman Gautam, Gagandeepd singh ,Vijay Kahtod.. all are IITians now and me ? I am not pessimistic but I don’t get the reason why I failed ? Where did I loose and where they gained ? I didn’t watch a single movie in Kota I didn’t miss a single class of any subject and despite of it I am the victim.I don’t know the reason, why ?
I don’t wish to write more about KOTA because whenever I think of it, I get sentimental, get filled with regret that all my dreams were wasted. my brother got a good rank in JEE and my father was expecting me to get a rank under 500 but I was not able to fulfill his dream. I am not a good son.. I am again getting seriously sentimental and writing directly from my heart. I miss my school friends, my school canteen, the bicycle by which I used to go to my school in class 5th, but that’s the rule of nature that thing which are once gone will never return.back. But if I’ll ever get a chance to wear again my that brown color trousers and cream colored shirt, tie with stripes on it, and a belt over which C.P. Vidya Niketan is written, I’ll give everything of mine for that. But again I know that it’s not possible since the woods are lovely, dark and deep but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep…..
- posted 1 month ago