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Posts from the ‘Funny’ Category

5
Mar

My Experiments with Gals -II

Disclaimer: The views expressed by me in this post do not necessarily reflect the content of this blog, The content that I’m writing in this post is a work of my research on the most intricate topic of this world. It took me 20 years to understand this conundrum about Girls, so the thing that I’m going to write in this post is just my opinion, any dispute regarding content is subjected to court of GCET Boys Hostel…[:p] Comments on this post are the sole responsibility of their writers and the writer will take the full responsibility, liability and blame for any libel or litigation that result from something written in or as a direct result of something written in a comment . The accuracy, completeness, veracity, honesty, exactitude, factuality and politeness of comments are not guaranteed. Moreover if you are a girl continue reading it on your own risk.

I often heard girls saying that guys shall never understand them, But what i personally feels is that girls are easiest thing to understand take anything and you can easily correlate it with a girl, All Girls are more or less same, Though I have mentioned many of the common features of girls in my earlier post, here I’m going to correlate How a girl is similar to a software Company interview when seen from a guys persepective, here it goes:

Scenario 1: Guy Proposes a girl

Gal: I never expect this, but I think we are just good friends.

Guy: Ya, we are good friends and we shall always be, But I think we shall be nice couple too.

Gal: I don’t know what to say and how to say..,  I don’t want to hurt you but I never see you in that way, I don’t want to intermix relationship with Friendship.

Guy: I can wait and we can resolve this.

Gal: See you are a very good guy, and I believe you deserve some one better than me

Guy(Becomes sad): No it was you, Whom I always dreamt of.

Gal: Don’t get upset, I shall found someone better than me for you.

Guy(Silent.)

Gal: Don’t worry I’ll always be there whenever you need me and I thankful for all your help.

The irony in the above discussion lies in the line “..but I never see you in that way”  What was that special way that a girl often talks about. Guys often found a gal roaming with some effeminate type of guy whom She meet 10 days back and who has some girlish reputation among guys.. But that’s a girl flavour..!

Well Lets correlate the above scenario with that of a placement interview of an intelligent guy who needs a placement desperately.

Scenario 2: Guy and Interviewer

Int(Looking into Guys Resume): Your resume is wonderful, you have done so many projects.

Guy: Thank you sir, I have keen interest in doing projects.

Int: Well Your resume fits in all the aspect that our company wants, But we think that you deserves more than this.

Guy Surprised

Int: What we want is something less than this, If we hire you we shall not do justice with your talent.

Guy: No sir Its okie, Its my pleasure if i got an opportunity to work with you.

Int: That’s your greatness gentleman, but what we honestly think is that you deserve a better company than this.

Guy: No sir, In fact from my First year in college i dreamt of this company and I’m happy with any position.

Int: That your politeness, In fact don’t worry I shall personally help you in searching a better job for you.

So we realise how easily girls can be co-related with other things, and its not very difficult to impress them, being stupid is the best way. The other qualities that one can posses to impress the girl is he should be Idiot, he should be good enough in carrying loads. And to make the girl see in you that way always do some Idiotistic activity that is catalysed by stupidity and Nonsense..!

If you are a girl and you have read all this, I’m thankful for your patience and time, With Lots of Love :D

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26
Mar

An Incomplete Debate..!!

Today its being a prosaic day for me, Its the third time that the Dhobi has lost my clothes and this time really i’m going to take a portentous action against him.. I hope the time I’ll complete my B.Tech I have gifted him more clothes then the centuries of Tendulakar.. Please pray Tendulakar score less centuries .. Its being quite tedious to attend College till 5:00 pm and to maintain 75% of attendance.. I’m sick of it.. From past three years I’m doing the same thing.. and its quite monotonous.. and unwillingly I just want to cross the walls of this college.. and then the food.. the food of mess.. I’m feeling proud on me, how can I tolerate such harsh treatment by mess authorities.. anywaz there are thousands like me and atleast I’m lucky from them in many respect and Its better saying everyone like others thing, forgetting the fact that we are other for someone.. quite ironical but true.. I don’t know why I’m writing it.. just to console me or to hide my mortification.. anyways just lyk other days I went to mess few hours back.. Lyk everyday there was a protracted queue.. and again I was glad to find there were more valiants in my hostel then me.. asking one of my friends sitting in the last seat of mess and attempting to cut the potato(I guess) by spoon.. Wats in the food.. He asked me Well if I’m not seeing it..?? Good question .. Question of an engineer and thats the quality of engineer they never give direct answer.. but unfortunately me too is an engineer I told him that I’m sabzi blind.. He laughed and told me even after eating it he couldn’t identify it… and then we two laughed.. Then he told me he guess it mite be Mushroom.. Thanks to mess authorities for filling some humour in my sombring life.. Well I buried my plan of dinner..

Its quite a pleasant ambiance today, It rained and the soil is giving winsome smell.. I like to have a walk.. Well walk is a part of my daily routine but still its more jubilant today.. Cool strokes of breezes are making an attempt to give me a pleasant sensation and really I like it.. Its quite a wonderful atmosphere.. I’m taking a long round.. at the end of path I instituted few homogolize faces .. three persons sitting on the ground and discussing something very important.. Two are my classmates.. Deepak Goyal and Rahul Pandey.. I don’t hesitate to disturb them asking them the criteria of eligibility for giving minors again curse on the person who introduced the system of Attendance .. It can’t be less then 70% .. I ask him.. Are you sure..?? He laughs and I really don’t like it because I’v 68% attendance that doesn’t include 2 of my subjects and hopefully it shall cross 70% but still I’m not sure.. anywaz who cares for my satisfaction.. What you guys are doing..?? Sanghosti(Debate)..?? and If you want to join us u can join us.. So its sanghosti I always like it.. he told me each day they do like that.. They discuss on current topics.. I laughed.. without having any reason.. Its my habit to laugh when nobody laughs and to sit quite when everyone is laughing that’s why I know I’m different.. So you guys discussing on wat..?? He told me come on sit down we shall tell you all.. I sit down.. He ask me not to attend any phone calls in between of sanghosti.. I don’t know whether it was a comment or instruction.. Okie fine dude.. there are three sitting Rahul Pandey(CS-3rd yr)[R], Deepak Goyal(CS-3rd yr)[D], Yatish (EC- 3rd yr)[Y] and the fourth one me Pankaj Verma (CS-3rd yr)[P]
D: We discuss on very debatable topics.. and to speak in English is not allowed in this sanghosti..
Y: I hope you feel difficulty in speaking pure hindi..
P: Well the first thing is Debate is always done on debatable topics so u seems quite stupid by saying We do debate on debatable topics and second thing is I’m quite good in hindi.. and that is pure hindi.. and you can judge it.. and I’m quite gud at Paryavachi(synonyms)..
R: Just tell me the synonyms of “Ambu”
P: (I’v not heard of it previously and I’v heard of Ambuj.. and I know its meaning but I know they are 2 different words) Firstly I smile then I continued.. Prason, Megh(I mix all which i guess can be its answer) blah blah and more blah blah..
D: I do expect it from you It seems I’m wrong when you start answering(He is referring to prason) but then everything is unveiled.. they all laughed..
P: Hehe.. I’v done it all intentionally to make u laugh people.. and then it was me only who’s laughing.. and I’m the one who got 96 in my hindi..
Y: So this is the topic of our today’s debate if number reveals the indepth knowledge..
P: Offcourse they do..
Y: I don’t agree..
P: Its all an opinion and your agreement or disagreement can’t mould the fact..
D: Do you remember the example of Wahi Ahmed our Data Structures teacher.. He told in class that he got 98 in Physics and he accept in class he doesn’t know anything in Physics..
P:I don’t.. I’v enough things to remember rather then such fucky things.. but still I do think that number reveals something..
D: Ya something is okie but not everything..
P: I agree.. So you do agree that numbers reveal something..
D: Well tell Rahul him the problem statement of our Debate, that we left yesterday and planned to continue it today..
R: Suppose you are a graduate who passed out from college and u have a girl friend(I smiled..) the bad thing is you are unemployed(I see him in such a way to give him threat..) and the girls wants to marry you.. and the worst thing is your parents are against it.
D: You have the option to leave the gal without letting your parents tell that you love any girl and that is totally injustice for the girl and the second one is you let your father told about girl..
P: Hmm… Nice topic..
Y: You are not here to give comments but to give arguements and solutions..
P: It depends upon many things.. We can’t only take decision on this much information only..
D: Suppose that the girl is totally dependent upon you..
P: I’ll leave the girl.. If I’v to answer in one word..
Y: Isn’t you are doing injustice to the girl..
P: No, Not at all.. I’v my reasons Well I want to ask you one question.. If you are given choice to choose between Capital punishment or Life imprisonment.. What will you choose..
D: Offcourse Capital Punsihment..
Y: Capital Punsihment..
R: Capital Punishmnet..
P: But I’ll choose Life Imprisonment.. (Well upto then I’v come in the mood of perfect debate It seems they three have taken One side and Me on other.. I’v an option to squeeze out the exhaustness of the day in form of words..)
D: Then you are an asshole..
P: Only you think..
Y: This is nothing to do with our topic .. Why are you diverting from topic..
P: I’m not diverting from topic.. I’ll correlate the things..
Y: Well don’t you think, its just the desire of family members of not allowing for the marriage.. and moreover.. Don’t you think that its quite a bigger injustice to the girl if you shall not get married to the girl who is totally dependent upon you then to the family members who have not any reson for not allowing you to marriage..
P: (I’v become quite hot till then) Its you think.. Tell me one thing How many years are you older.. hopefully not less then 22 years.. how many times did your parents think wrong for you.. Dude they are the one who always think for your betterment.. but this is not my reason of leaving the girl my reason include unemployment .. Since I’m unemployed Its quite obvious how can I fulfil mine and her basic necessities.. and since I’m doing it all against my parents wish then I’m a narcissist I can’t expect any help from them.. and then In this way though we marry according to your desire even then we can’t we happy.. and the injustice that you are speaking is just for a moment.. nothing wrong shall happen.. Time shall heal everything that girl soon get a well dude and then she don’t forget to forget you.. but still if you loose your parents then you don’t have other option.. and you are of nowhere..
R: In short you shall do injustice to the girl ..
P: who said..??
Y: you..
P: No its not injustice.. There is a better option also available.. If i truely love the girl I’ll ask her to wait till the time I got a job…
D: Then It means you do an adult marriage.. New crime.. (They all laugh.. Me smiled…)
Y: But I’ll be against you.. and I’ll marry the girl because i think sooner or later I’ll win over my parents and succeed in convincing my parents and then in this way I’ll do injustice to none..
P: You think.. and you are an asshole..
D: Me too agree.. not on your arguement but on the fact that he’s an asshole.. (We all laugh)
All it seems that in such a cold ambiance .. the weather doesn’t like our hot talks.. It start raining slowly..
D: All I think that we have to finish our debate now..
P: But the topic is not end yet..
D: We don’t want to wet before minors and the sangosthi shall be continued tomorrow from this very point..
It was a nice yet uncomplete debate and I like it.. We all three start moving towards hostel.. and I was thinking all of it.. I don’t know whether I was right or wrong.. but still it made me to think.. It made me to think of something.. The problem is very general and found in many of the slums leave slum even in the big cities we found many faces.. and in the newspaper every fourth news have the heading which reveals the fact that we have discussed, so many suicide cases, so many divorce cases all because of the problems that we have discussed but still initially youth think themselves to be right initially and later on everything is in front of all of us.. I’m not saying that I’m right but still i say my opinion is better..

Buzz it!
1
Mar

My Experiments Wid Gals :)

The views expressed by me in this post do not necessarily reflect the content of this blog, The content that I’m writing in this post is a work of my research on the most intricate topic of this world. It took me 20 years to understand this conundrum about Girls, so the thing that I’m going to write in this post is just my opinion, any dispute regarding content is subjected to court of GCET Boys Hostel…[:p] Comments on this post are the sole responsibility of their writers and the writer will take the full responsibility, liability and blame for any libel or litigation that result from something written in or as a direct result of something written in a comment . The accuracy, completeness, veracity, honesty, exactitude, factuality and politeness of comments are not guaranteed. Moreover if you are a girl continue reading it on your own risk.

The first e-Novel that I tried to read was “Man are from Mars and Women are from Venus” but hardly i completed 15 pages of it.. It’s quite an eye aching process to stare the Laptop screen with unblinking eye-lids .. But since then I decided to write a blog on Critical analysis of the so pronounced term Girl.. Today I was passing through one of my community in Orkut that contains Murphy’s Laws ..There are some laws for girls also.. I found them quite amusing these laws are so well written that I really got delighted after reading them.. While I’v also a good experimentation of this recipe called girl when I combined Murphy’s and my laws then their comes wonderful Laws :
Law 1: Beauty x Brain x Availablity = constant (constant may be zero).
Law 2: The more beautiful the girl is the more wreckless is her father.
Law 3: Best habit of girls is to .. ask u to guess by saying .. “u know it” .. n then .. after the guessing is done .. saying .. “u knew it wrong”.
Law 4: a) The more you want to talk to a girl, the more she will be found with her best sahelis.
b) Even if you got her out alone… just when you are about to let her know about your
feelings…she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from Kumbh ka Mela).
Corollary to Law 4: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
Law 5: The best girl in class always has a male friend from her class in school making it awkward for you to approach.
Law 6: The guy popular among girls is the least popular among guys.
Law 7: She wil always forgive you wen its her mistake. and she will kil you if its your mistake.
Law 8: If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed.
Law 9: When you are about to confess your love… she confesses hers.
Law 10: If u happen to be her best friend then u r most likely to meet her bestest friend soon.
Law 11: You can hear guys saying the word “bro n bhai” lot in there conversations but u will rarely hear girls using “sis n behen” in there conversations.
Law 12: Beautiful gals r always wid the one who is like her, where they totally feel SAFE… harmless bugers!!! Mera boyfren, Meri sabse acchi saheli!!!
Law 13: If there is a girl who smokes, she only keeps the lighter but cigarettes remain only with the guys and they also get rare occasions to use her lighter.
So these are my laws on the most difficult topic.. I hope every guy shall agree with me on all these laws.. and for girls they need a lot of Labour to become perfect like Guys.. Better luck..

Note: Well More laws are needed from Guys who have done research in dis field.. these laws shall be incorporated in the next edition..

Buzz it!