Who am I..?

Scribbled By Monday, October 18, 2010 4 , , Permalink 0

Who are you..? This is the question, that I’m answering since I was three years old. I remember when I was four years old and any relative came to my home, the answer of this question fetched me a chocolate and a smile on the face of relative. Since then time has changed and so many other things and  one such thing is my identity. At that time I was Pankaj, to extend I studied in New Dawn Public School and that was more than sufficient. With time I realized I’m someone’s son, someone’s brother, someone’s friend, I studied somewhere, I have certain likes and dislikes. And all these things dominate my identity, I got so confused that I don’t know which among these shoul I made part of my identity and which should I leave. I love when my identity is solely mine. Some times I think If I’m a mere parasite.? Perhaps not, I have an identity though its according to me.

Well I’m Pankaj Verma, born in Kshatriya Family. But about kshatriya’s I only know that the earlier Hindu Culture was being divided into four main castes and Kshatriya is one of them. They were the persons who fought for Nations safety. Since I was born neither my parents told me more on this nor I ever attempted to know. I was the guy who was rusticated on the very first day of school life. I made dracelueon marks on the face of my class teacher because she was not allowing me to sit in my brothers class. Perhaps that was the only day of kingterdon garden school period. Since my father is in bank, till my school days I spent my life at four places but never ashamed of the fact that two of them was not even district. Since my childhood English was my weakest subject, but I never blamed myself for that according to me my parents and my teachers were the reason for that. Mathematics was my favorite and strongest subject but I never ever thanked anyone for this. I tried to made it an issue when the food prepared by my Mom was not good but I never thanked or appreciated her when it was tasty. When It comes to friend I found myself lucky, though I never understand why girls had an edge there, perhaps that was the only similarity between me and my brother. Iconsidered myself to be super brilliant but from IIT-JEE to CAT, I had a record of failures, for it I had an excuse that I failed at border. But there is nothing like failing at Border, there are merely two things either fail or pass, nothing like failing at border. I don’t know how many negative qualties I have and how much shall I develop but still some things exist that are constant throughout my life.

The first and foremost is I’m a man of principles. I’v my own rules of living lives and I love to live by them, I never regret for things that I have done earlier but try to learn from them. I spent my childhood at rishikesh and the wordings and preachings of Mahatma have a deep impact over my life. I love to do the things that I love and I hate to do the things that I hate. I believe that nothing in this world is more important than our inner satisfaction. I believe that I’m not born to please others but those who rely on me I never ditch them. For me the four most precious and important word are Son, Friendship, Love and Trust. I may bad at anything in this world but when it comes to any of these four I know I’m the best. If I consider some one my friend than He is my friend throughout my life no matter what shall be the situations and conditions in life, no matter we shall talk or not. When it comes to love, I know what Love is. I know its meaning to the deepest. If I love someone, I lve her so much that the love of whole world shall not balance it. This is not what I think but this is what I believe. I never break anyone’s trust. For me these four things matter more than anything else in this world. I’m a Theist and have blind faith in God, that’s why nothing wrong ever happened to me in my life. I believe in enjoying every colour of life because then only I know what life is..

    October 18, 2010

    So ,Finally i saw a new dimension of PANKAJ through these thoughts!!

    Lovely Writting!!

    KEEP IT UP 🙂

  • Rajeev
    October 18, 2010

    I am writing this comment to let you know that i read each and every post of yours… liked it as always.. I strongly believe you wrote the last paragraph to target a special segment of population 😉

  • Geetika
    October 18, 2010

    Another awesome attempt..!!

    Keep on writing.. 🙂

  • Pullu
    October 20, 2010

    Very Well written, keep it up 🙂

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